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[quote=Anonymous]How do you deal with an argumentative spouse?

DH is the kind of person with whom everything becomes a debate. For instance, this morning, we were discussing buying an article of clothing for our toddler. First, he started complaining that it would be hard to put on him. So, I pointed out that the article comes in multiple lengths and showed him an easily put on length. And then, as soon as that was resolved, he decided he wanted the hard to put on length after all and started trying to debate its merits with me. I just got up from the computer and told him to buy whatever he thinks best. Normally, I would get frustrated and let him bait me into an argument, but I woke up today determined not to let him piss me off. It's only 8AM and I already can't stand him.

That is just a mundane example. There are so many more. We argue every single day. Literally EVERY day. It is rare we go to bed on friendly terms. We have been to therapy and it didn't help. Pointless arguing is too ingrained in him and I work such long hours that I realized there was no point to killing myself to make therapy sessions that clearly weren't helping him. I kick myself constantly for making the mistake of marrying him, but we have a child, so I am fighting to make this work.

This man is not going to change, so please don't take up the thread with responses about how I can get him to change. What I am asking for help with is how to live with someone so obnoxious. I don't want our son to grow up seeing us fight constantly the way we do. Our toddler was chanting "fuck" the other day and I had to pretend not to know where he heard it. But I know - it's from our arguments.

I just want to know how to live in peace with this person the way one would live with an obnoxious boss or coworker at a job one cannot leave yet. He is a good father, so we can raise our child together (at least until our son is old enough for divorce not to be so damaging. I need to figure out how not to let him bait me and how to manage collaborating with him on which I just can't walk away and leave things to him the way I just did with the article of clothing.[/quote]

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