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[quote=Anonymous]I love my Mom, I really do. But she's driving me absolutely crazy.

I was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness, and am in the wake of starting treatment. I've told her not out of wanting anything from her just so that she knows what's going on in my life. But, she does more worrying that is helpful. She calls, emails, offers to come visit and help and stay the weekend. I can't host her, because it would involve me needing to clean the house before and after she comes. I know I will have to tend to her needs too. I don't have the energy to socialize when all I want to do is lay on the couch. The truth is that when she's here it gives me anxiety because all she does is hover. I feel like i'm trying to appease my own mother's worries about my health while trying to take care of myself.

She asked me why I don't have a friend who can come over and stay the night in lieu of her, and I just said no. When she calls she is short with me, leaving long absences of not saying anything and just coming off as anxious. I feel horrible for pushing her away but her nervous energy stresses me out even more. It makes me feel like I need to ease her anxiety rather than take care of myself. I've told her if I need help, I will ask for it but I don't need it now and I could tell that bothered her. She was always like this when I was a kid and sick, I remember constantly having to tell her when I was sick "i'm ok, i'm ok" and I don't want to have to go through that again as an adult. All I want is support from my fiancee, because he is always cool, calm and collected.

I do feel really thankful that she cares, but the worrying does not translate to her being helpful. I'm not sure how to deal with this.[/quote]

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