Reply to MILs only -- and only if you do not like your DIL -- why?

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[quote=Anonymous]All my friends are married and not one of them has what I would call a "good relationship" with her MIL.

One friend's MIL called her and screamed at her for a good 5 minutes (I was there & it was on speaker phone) that her son hadn't called yet for MIL's birthday (and the birthday wasn't over yet, and they were going to call together when the kids were home from school -- plus how is that my friend's fault?).  All of our MILs have gotten upset at least one year because their son was spending Mother's Day with his wife (and mother of his children) instead of his own mother -- and only one of our MIL's live close enough for being with both would even be a possibility.  My own MIL thought DH should fly to California on Friday, spend Mother's Day morning with her, and then fly back after breakfast to spend a late dinner with me.  All our MIL have called us names -- sometimes out of "concern" that we were getting fat, but more than one MIL has insinuated that my working friends "married for money."  My own MIL didn't allow me to attend the latest family event (SIL's wedding) because she "understood" that I would "rather be home caring for the kids."  Since MIL paid for the wedding, it was definitely her call and SIL (who we have a good relationship with) really wanted DH in her wedding ceremony (he was a groomsman).  So, DH went to the ceremony and skipped the reception, which was the best way he (and I) thought to navigate this path.  My friends are beautiful, kind, successful, wonderful human beings.  Yet, even my one friend who has the best "relationship" with her MIL (the only one who lives within driving distance of her MIL) is treated like an employee -- she is constantly driving her MIL to appointments and at her beck and call and is an unpaid worker.

What are your reasons for hating for DIL?  I don't even care if they are irrational or if she is a convicted felon -- I want to hear them all so I can try to understand better.  I just had a son and I don't want to be my MIL when he marries in a gazillion years.  I don't want to necessarily be her friend, but I want to accept her unconditionally.[/quote]

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