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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL (white) has a black DIL (DH's brother's wife). She constantly says that they should divorce "Not because I care that they are different races, but I know others do, and they will always face discrimination unless they break up."

The only person discriminating against them is her.  There is no reasoning with her, though.  She really feels she is doing it out of love for both of them (she always brags about how much she loves and cares about her black DIL) and that is exactly because she cares about how other people treat them that she has to "protect" them.  So, as a result, she encourages BIL to visit her without his wife, and tries to keep them apart a lot (encouraging BIL to take work trips, etc).  It's weird.  And, then she talks to them a lot about how "divorce can be a good thing."  It makes us all uncomfortable.[/quote]

Yes, this is my favorite racist-but-pretending-it's-others-but-everyone-knows-it's-you MIL tactic.  "Oh, I don't mind it, but so and so said blah blah blah."  My MIL does this too, not because I'm a different race, but because I didn't change my name and we gave our daughter my last name instead of my husband's.  I am in no way comparing this to the struggles of racism - this is NOTHING.  My point though is that some MILs will find any reason to take issue with DILs.  The sooner you don't care, the sooner you'll be happy.  Your relationship with your partner is all that matters - just don't expect the narrow minded inlaws to change.[/quote]

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