Reply to When your child's best friend's family is going through a divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]My son is 11, and I think he talks about our divorce with friends. But it happened a few years ago.

I don't know if you're close to the mom, but I think what you could really do to help is encourage her to call you any time she needs help or a playdate or sleepover for her son.

(You could do this for the dad if you're closer to him.)

Taking care of the parents is a way to take care of the kids of divorce. It's a terrible and traumatic time, and if you can take some of the stress off them, it will be better for their child.

And you could help but shutting down any gossip or speculation about the divorce. All my friends had a great line about me not talking about my divorce because of my children. That shut people up. I was shocked by how many people tried to find out the story about my divorce. Many were just concerned, but still and all it upset me.

As for the child being blindsided, my three children were blindsided too, but only because the end of my marriage occurred very abruptly because of some horrible circumstances. Otherwise, you're really supposed to prepare the children - kids aren't dumb, and so I'm sure he knows things weren't right in his family. Maybe he won't be as surprised as his parents think he'll be.

And agree about not telling your children that it won't happen to them. It's kind of not nice. You don't sound like the kind of family that would say this, though.

I think it's great that you care enough to do this.

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