Reply to Just got a phone for dd11, now what?

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[quote=Anonymous]Our 11 yr old has an iPhone, so the settings are probably different, but this is more or less what I did to lock it down:

Turned off the App Store. She simply cannot download new apps. Prevents accidental downloads, as well as intentional. If she wants an app, she needs to get parental approval (mine, DH doesn't know the passcode). And she may have to pay for it, too (she gets iTunes gift cards from various relatives for Christmas).

Turned off the iTunes store for the same reason.

Turned off all app installation and deletion.

Set ratings limits for music, movies, etc.

Either turned off YouTube or set it to WiFi only (can be a major data hog if you aren't careful).

Set up text messages to filter anyone not in her contact list (goes to a separate tab).

Set Do Not Disturb hours.

No social media apps, unless you count text and email. The popular ones all require users to be 13 or older. We might make an exception soon for one or two.

We had her sign a contract with us about appropriate phone use. There are lots of examples online.

Lots of discussions of not doing anything online (including on the phone) that you wouldn't want the whole world to find out about / see. There is no such thing as a truly private exchange. The Post had an article in the last month or so about a teen who sexted and the devastating consequences. I had her read that, and we had some good discussions.

DD will tell you that sometimes it sucks to have a parent who has a clue about technology. But she also understands why. I have a lot of the same settings on my phone, too.

Oh, and put a passcode on the phone and have it auto lock. She doesn't want a classmate picking up her phone and sending messages from her account. That can get truly ugly.[/quote]

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