Reply to soccer practice melt-downs - DD jealous when I show attention to any other kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]very normal, find some ways to make her feel special that you are coach.   Let her be first, let her pick her number, etc.[/quote]

Please don't take this advice. You cannot favor your own child when you are the coach or you will alienate the other players and their parents. Your child needs to be treated the same as every other child on the team.

Not every child does well with having their own parent coach them, and so you might just have to get through this season and then pass the coaching baton to someone else. For this season, though, I would talk to your child before the next practice about how you understand why she feels jealous and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way, but that she can't act it out during the practice because it's not fair to the rest of the team, and because you're not allowed, as the coach, to only pay attention to her. I would then also let her know that you're not going to stop practice if she's not doing what she's supposed to do, she'll have to sit on the sideline and watch until she's ready to rejoin the group. And then follow through -- any disruption gets a simple "Jane, please move to the sideline until you're ready to join the group," and then you turn back to the rest of the players. If she doesn't move, reorient practice on the field so that she's not in the way, but don't give her more attention. If she decides to rejoin and cooperate, welcome her back warmly and then focus on the whole group. On the way home from practice, though, take time to talk to her about the things she did well, how much better she's gotten at X, what she thought of how the practice went, etc. Things that will signal to her that you really were paying attention to her, and that you value hearing what she thinks too.

Once she adjusts to being part of your team, you might find the behavior settles down and coaching her can be a really positive thing. If that doesn't happen, there's really no shame in deciding it's not the right fit for your family, and then you can go back to focusing on her from the sidelines.[/quote]

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