Reply to Did anyone ever marry you/others felt was not an intellectual equal? How did it turn out?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If an intellectual equal is key for someone then don't marry someone who isn't. It appears your friend has an issue and perhaps believes others might think less of him because she isn't as intellectually gifted as he is. Sounds kind of shallow. Or perhaps the opinion of others matters more than it should.

My IQ is considerably higher than my spouse, over 130 if it matters to anyone, but I could care less. We have interests in common, she has a thirst for knowledge in areas of her liking and she has talents creatively that I marvel at. She is compassionate, a great mother and now grandmother. Intelligence is something one is born with. Then it'w what you do with that gift. She has mastered things that takes effort, determination and caring. That is a well earned accomplishment.[/quote]

+1 (another DH here)

DW had a much tougher childhood than I did, and that's part of what makes her tough and resilient.  We are both well educate (graduate degrees) and on paper, her credentials are perhaps even better than mine even (I screwed around too much in college and that 'hurt' my chances to gain admission at a top flight graduate school).  But I landed a job at a top financial institution and am at the top of my field, earning more than 5x what DW makes.  I have strengths in many areas (math/finance; economics; political economy analysis) and speak multiple languages so I am able to work with our kids on homework and projects in a way that she cannot. Does that make me better than her?  No, but she seems to think so.

DW is infinitely stronger than I am in a slew of areas that have real meaning in our day to life.  Does that make her better than me? Maybe - but I certainly think so.

We are a team, and our combined strengths make us an even more incredible team for our 3 children.  We have numerous common interests, and even if we don't agree on things, we can respect each other's opinions on that topic.  I guess we both realize that the strengths we see in each other mask our relative weaknesses, and that's a source of comfort for both of us as we know our partner can take over that issue and execute it.

We've all been born with or developed certain talents and skills.  What matters is not that you have them but as PP said, what you do with them.  In a marriage or partnership, what important is to recognize and truly appreciate those talents and strengths in your partner.  It also helps that even after 3 kids we are still crazy for each other and she apparently does greatly appreciate my talents in another area of our married life ;)[/quote]

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