Reply to Husband being stressed out, stressing me out, everything getting worse

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[quote=Anonymous]I do all the work with the kids, house, etc. in our relationship.  If I had a surgery like this, I would have no sympathy for my frustrated DH.  However, if DH was having the surgery and I had to pick up more slack, I would really want and need that sympathy.

I am sorry you are going through all of this.

My husband's schedule has recently flipped all over the place, and while I stay at home most of the time, I have gotten more responsibility dumped on me.  Every layer we've gone through makes it harder and harder for me to work or have any break.  He might be having a tough time on it, but he rarely stops to say thank you for everything I'm doing and how this has all messed my life up.  It took me a long time to find a great rhythm with activities, working out, alone time, hobbies, etc.  And now I have had to stop doing almost everything I was able to do, because he's basically gone 24/7.

It's hard to approach things as a team when it feels like one person is taking on everything else.

I think you should splurge and get your husband some hired help, such as a mother's helper or a babysitter, so that doing all the kid stuff isn't so hard.  Just do it and don't worry about whether or not you can afford it.  You all need to be able to get through this in one piece.  Someone who can come and help get them dressed in the morning.  Or someone who can do the afterschool/homework/dinner stuff.  That is what has been keeping me sane.  My husband didn't want to spend the money, but I did it anyway, because I needed it.  I couldn't shoulder everything without some more help.

I get that MIL is coming, but that's not the same thing.  She's good for a lot of help, but he's still going to need more. [/quote]

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