Reply to Husband being stressed out, stressing me out, everything getting worse

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[quote=Anonymous]I've got a big surgery planned for next week with a long recovery.  The timing is a little sudden, and it's all stressful and scary.  My husband is not handing it well.  He's understandably worried about how he'll handle the kids and work, etc.  His mother will help for a couple weeks, but her being here might make things worse.  He's been so angry and moody.  I made a comment this morning that the next pair of shoes for the kids has to be easier for them to get into because they are always asking for help and act as if they can't get them on themselves (they're lazy about this, also).  We were running late and they were sitting around waiting for him to put their shoes on.  8 and 6.  He blew up, yelled at me in front of the kids -- we aren't even yellers, let alone in front of the kids!  I assumed he must have misunderstood me and told him he was on the wrong side (surely he's not advocating purchasing shoes they can't get on!)  I kept asking him: what did you think I said.  He just accused me several times of having a nasty attitude because of the look on my face (I probably had an odd lock because I was trying desperately -and succeeding - not to yell) and we're basically not speaking.  Over what, I don't know and I don't have the inclination to smooth things over because I just want to worry about my to-do list and my own anxiety.  At this point I wish I didn't have to depend on him after to take care of me.  I feel like he's thinking what a huge burden all this is on him.  All he has to do is what I do every day - get kids to school, go to work, pick them up, dinner, homework, baths, laundry, dinner.  I do all of this now (he's much more hands-on through the weekend) due to his long commute.  However, he'll be working from home, so no commute.  Part of me wants to tell him to stop being such a damn baby.  He never recognizes how much I do during the week, it's all about how awful his commute is.  No, he has not looked for another job and he's marketable.  Thanks for the vent.  [/quote]

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