Reply to Bar and Bat Mitzvah Protocol -

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[quote=Anonymous]Is DC supposed to bring a gift?  yes. 
If so, does DC bring it to the event or give it to the celebrant at another time?  bring to service and give at the end of reception when leaving. your child can give the gift to the kid's parents. 
Any suggestions for types of things that are appropriate or how much we should spend?  it should be a check in multiples of $18.  I personally don't know of anyone who's given less than $54 but I come from LI, NY where bar and bat mitzvahs are super fancy.
Is it supposed to be a religious gift? no. it should be money in the form of a check.

Also, some of the invitations are not clear as to whether DC is invited to the ceremony or the party or both. If timing for a morning service is in conflict, is it tacky to go just to the party and not the religious service? Or should we decline both?  The SERVICE is the bar or bat mitzvah. That's the important part. It'd be like going to the wedding reception and not attending the wedding.  So yes, it's tacky to just go to the party.

Finally, how can I help DC understand that this is not just a party but is a meaningful religious milestone to these kids? Tell him? I mean, presumably your kid is 12 or 13 - old enough to understand it's when you become an adult in the eyes of the Jewish religion, and that it's a HUGE honor to be welcomed up to stand before the congregation and read from the torah. Not everyone gets to read from the torah.[/quote]

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