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[quote=Anonymous]I'm chiming in because my DC has a bnai mitzvah this fall.

Yes, your DC is invited to both the ceremony and the party.  The ceremony is the big deal and the party is to celebrate it.  You are supposed to go to both, and both my DCs have made a point of saying how much it means to them to have their friends there.  That said, they also have both said that if one of their friends legitimately cannot come for a major reason, they'd rather have the friend at one of the events rather than neither.

Most people bring gifts but it's not required if it's a hardship. We mostly just want your DC there to help celebrate.  If you do bring one, bring it to the party, not the synagogue, or send it in advance.  It does not have to be a major gift.  DC #1 literally got some $5 iTunes cards and that was fine (though others here will tell you different).  The gift does not have to be religious - most are not.

Finally, neither of my DCs invited their whole classes.  They're both quieter kids and preferred a smaller group.  So anyone who received an invitation from them was specifically chosen and really wanted there.[/quote]

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