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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our oldest DC has received several invitations for bar and bat mitzvahs this fall. We are not Jewish and are new at this.

Is DC supposed to bring a gift? If so, does DC bring it to the event or give it to the celebrant at another time? Any suggestions for types of things that are appropriate or how much we should spend? Is it supposed to be a religious gift?

Also, some of the invitations are not clear as to whether DC is invited to the ceremony or the party or both. If timing for a morning service is in conflict, is it tacky to go just to the party and not the religious service? Or should we decline both?

Finally, how can I help DC understand that this is not just a party but is a meaningful religious milestone to these kids?

DC is at a new school this year and doesn't know any of these kids very well. I'm thinking they are all invite-the-whole-class types of things, but not sure about that.

Thank you!

[/quote]

We had a rule that if you could not attend morning service then you could not attend the party.  One DC plays on competitive team and would have to miss nearly every party because of AM game conflicts.  I know most of these moms and they told me to relax on it.  DC now attends the services of BFFs, makes all the services DC can, and still attends parties for those where there is a conflict (if DC does not have conflict, DC MUST attend the AM service in order to go to party that evening).

Monetary gifts in increments of $18 is probably easiest way to handle.[/quote]

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