Reply to "Let the anger go"

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Reply to ""Let the anger go""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone always says this when people bring up old family wounds and grudges -- let the anger go.  I'm wondering what strategies people have used to accomplish this.  Talk therapy is great and all, but at some point is it just an inner decision?  A surrender?  [b]A desire to be healthy that wins out over the familiar protection of the resentment? [/b]When something has been deep inside of you for so long, how do you even know what it feels like to let it go?[/quote]

This. You just stop caring so much. You stop expecting an apology, or amends. You relegate whatever happened to the past, and you decide what to do about the future. If dad never apologizes, never understands what he did wrong (for instance -- i don't know your situation) what kind of relationship are you willing to have with him, if any? Move forward, and give up on any chance of "fairness" as concerns the past.

Think about what you'd advise a friend in the same situation. Better, come up with a similar, but not same hypothetical situation to get your emotions out of the exercise.

Your therapist should be able to help you think through this, but no, there's no magic tool that he/she has to dispel the anger without your input.[/quote]

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