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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've really wanted to get some advice here but I also don't want to start a war because I know this topic can be derisive. I just don't know who to talk to without the situation getting worse.

I attended parochial (catholic) school for my entire education. I have a close friend who I went all through school with. I'm a devout catholic as is she but she is very vocal about it. For less confusion let me call her Marie. So Marie was really fired up because a friend "Tonya" from school posted on facebook about an abortion she had when she was in high school. I already knew about this because I was kind of involved.

This was back in 1988. Tonya did some lying to get the abortion because back then you couldn't at 15. The person posing as her guardian left her at a McDonalds after the fact so she called me and asked for a ride. When I picked her up she started crying and told me everything. I also knew (because we were close and she had confided in me) that her father had been molesting her. She didn't come right out and say it but she didn't have to I figured he must have been the one to get her pregnant. Needless to say Tonya had a rough life. For example when we walked in she was clearly weak and not feeling well and her mother walked right up to her and slapped her across the face for being late for dinner.  They were very poor and she was picked on for it at our elite all girls school. (Her mother worked there).

I kept Tonya's secret but I had guilt. I went to my confessor (priest). He was so kind and told me that I had helped a friend who needed me he encouraged me to help Tonya come forward about the abuse she was suffering and to support her through it. I still felt lying was wrong and that Tonya was dishonoring her mother by lying to her. The abortion I felt was just because it was what I believed to be incest. Anyway, sorry for the long background.

I told Marie that I already knew. (Yea I wasn't thinking, it just slipped out) She wanted to know why I hadn't told her I just told her about giving her a ride home. I would never tell anyone about who I believe the father to be. That is Tonya's business. She never went to anyone about her father as far as I know. Marie has been going on about how both Tonya and I are going to hell. How my convictions are only as strong as my actions. How I was complicit after the fact in murdering a baby.

I know its over the top but she is very very prolife and she is very passionate about it. I can understand it, I am prolife as well but I know its not all black and white. Medical issues, incest, rape, underage etc. [b]I also think that if you aren't Catholic it doesn't apply to you. [/b]Not everyone has the same religious views. And finally its not my business if someone has one. Marie would hear none of it and now wants nothing to do with me or my family. We've been friends since we were 5, thats 38 years! Our children are friends.

I know a lot of people will say "Why would you want to be friends with her." Well I do. She has many good qualities and we've been through a lot together. So help me talk to her. How do I approach her and get her to speak rationally with me about it. Is it even possible when religion is involved.

BTW I reached out to Tonya and she is doing good. She became a social worker. She has 3 children. She just got married to the "love of her life" who is a police officer. I love his profession because I bet it makes her feel safe. :) She also told me her father had died 11 years ago, so I was glad to hear he was out of her life. [/quote]

What does this even mean?[/quote]

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