Reply to Do you feel you married the wrong person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. Yes, we waited about 10 years to have kids and both have established professional careers.  Sure, we had fun and now we are different. [b]We are both to blame and wouldn't recognize those young carefree kids we once were[/b].  I know neither of us want a divorce and on some level want to remember.   I am having a lonely day, obviously.  We should get counseling or take a weekend away by ourselves.

The question asking how we co parent. Maybe I used the wrong term. I meant that we are both involved with the kids. He isn't at home as much as I am but he will go to games etc. when he can. I think he's a good dad and I wouldn't make a big decision regarding them without consulting him.[/quote]

There is something more.  You are using youth as the reason when it's not.  If you said, hey I was pregnant at 19 and we married for the child, I would totally buy that you weren't ready for marriage and kids and that at 19 career decisions weren't aligned with each other.  But in your 30's after having been together for 8-10 years and professionally establishing careers ...there has to be more to it.  Either one or both of you stopped making the effort to connect, mid-life crisis, or something else.  Many of the people I know met spouses in their mid-twenties when we were young and really knew little about life, had kids early 30's and been with each other thru fertility treatments,  craziness of raising young kids, layoffs, death of parents etc.  No one had a crystal ball when the cute guy struck up a conversation at a party that you would end up being the rock for each other.  But I can also see how in some cases those things can break couples apart.

I know the standard refrain is counseling but in this case I wonder/hope it could help you guys turn the corner because another 8-10 years like the last few is definately not how you want to live life. [/quote]

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