Reply to If you married, the wrong person, what were the signs that you missed?

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[quote=Anonymous]Mismatched values or partner either has a lack of consistent values, fails to uphold his or her stated values, or refuses to share what their values are on dilemmas that a couple could reasonably face. Financial woes, illness, infertility...

My ex and I were from different religious and cultural backgrounds. We had a lot of mismatched values about small things and that was exhausting to be honest. However, I was prepared to stick it out. Our major issue that allowed no compromise concerned pregnancy with a child with SN. I was very clear before we married that I would never have an abortion under any circumstances. He wobbled and evaded. Said he respected my position, but didn't know how he would feel. At the time, I was very much in love and thought that his respecting how I felt was enough. Maybe if it had been enough respect, it would have been. Five years later, we were listening to a doctor and I knew, I just knew he would ask me to abort. I refused. He made me pay for it every day for the next two months. When I didn't cave, he resorted to physical abuse.

In the end, it could have been any issue though. We just didn't look at enough of life through the same lens to weather any crisis.[/quote]

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