Reply to Do you feel you married the wrong person?

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Reply to "Do you feel you married the wrong person?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It may be too late to change anything but when did things change?  Was there something specific that caused you to drift apart?  I'm doing the math and although you married young, if you are in your 40's with elementary age kids that meant you waited some time before having kids, maybe 8 or 9 years of marriage and atleast in theory thru first professional job.

I am trying to figure out if this is a "we were very different people 10 years ago but you were afraid to get divorced and decided to have kids with him anyway" or if something about having kids shifted your relationship or kids plus something else that has caused resentment and has you where you are now?   Whatever is decided it would be better for you both to agree, is it too late to try again, is it a marriage in name only until the kids are off to college, are you allowed to see other people knowing anyone wanting a real relationship with you  or DH will expect a divorce sooner rather than later and will be skeptical of the marriage in name only claim (isn't that always what the cheating spouse says).  What if DH gets someone else pregnant, would you be fine with that?    I think it is hard for two people to truly whole hearted agree to stay till the kids go off to college and either put all other romantic affairs on hold OR be prepared to only have outside sexual relationships that don't threaten the lonely, disconnected marriage and where both people are using the hall pass oh and when the time comes you are both willing to take the financial hit and start out alone in your 50's and depart like friends that met up at the Pancake House for breakfast.[/quote]

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