Reply to Has anyone ever made living apart work?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Has anyone ever made living apart work?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot can happen in 15 years.  It's a bit strange you are fixating on that right now...fantasizing about your future life in this other place is not going to get you through the next 15 years.

If you end up staying in a place you've hated for 15 years, you will by then have bigger problems than maintaining a long distance relationship.

You either need to find ways to like where you are or drop the martyr bit and find a new place where everyone in the family can enjoy living.  [/quote]

Not fixated, just something I am thinking about it because we are away in retirement destination and something DH said last night made me think we might need to ground truth our long term life pans, including retirement plans. Though I realize plans are subject to change. It's also closer to 12 years and while there are child-based reasons why I am OK with living there now, staying full time once they have graduated is not an option I am OK with planning for. So curious if there are non-conventional options to balance my wants and my husbands wants.  Is this kind of long distance my ideal? No, but I have to operate within the constraints of the life I actually have, not the one I wish I had.

[quote]
Also not sure what you mean by 'I don't like the geography'. Are you saying its literally too flat/mountainous/barren?  I only ask because disliking it because you can't ski there is probably something you can overcome.  Have you been there more than 2 years?  I think you may feel differently if it's been less than 2 years. [/quote]

Yes it is literally geography of the type you describe. Have been there closer to 5, and not something I am likely to change my mind on - my opinion of the location has been the same for nearly 2 decades.  And while 12 years is a long time, I also realize how time moves more quickly and that these are the years where you make a lot more compromises for kids.  So I am (mostly) OK with that now.  Once kids are out of the house I simply won't be OK with spending 80% of my time there.  So the question is will some amount of long distance be workable or to I need to be a lot firmere with DH that he needs to be planning his career to accomodate a move at that point.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics