Reply to What to do when young DH has close to no libido

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, ignore the haters and trolls that will imply there is something wrong with you.  Or the anti-porn crusaders - lot's of men watch porn and still want frequent sex.

I am a high drive male married to a low drive wife.  My scenario is more typical, so they say.  Three suggestions -

1) be the best version of yourself you can.  If you look good, you will feel good in the face of constant rejection.  It's hard not to internalize the rejection but when you get attention from other men you will accept the problem is your husband, not you.

2) Have a tough conversation with your husband and be specific what you want from him.  Do you want him to forcefully initiate?  More frequency?  Men need specifics.  Also, it he able to get and maintain an erection?  If he has performance issues, that may prevent him from wanting to have sex for fear of embarrasment.

3)  Schedule sex.  Pick one day a week.  It will take the pressure off both of you, his wondering when to initiate, you on wanting him to.  The other 6 days there won't be the question of sex lingering over you.  Also, if he is low drive, he can (should) do what it takes to get in the mood.  Baby steps.

As for outsourcing sex, you need to be honest whether you can do it.  Men like me do it, but we can have affairs that are purely sexual.  Most women get attached to men who rock their world sexually.

Good luck.[/quote]

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