Reply to What does a 'good' relationship with your ILs mean to you?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a great relationship with my ILs. They are lovely people, very warm, have embraced me as family. No one could ever replace my own wonderful parents but I consider my inlaws my second parents. They have told me repeatedly that they consider me another daughter, and my mother considers my husband the son she never had. In fact, my inlaws and my parents get along so well that sometimes they get together without us!

That said ... of course sometimes there are issues, since we weren't all raised exactly the same way. MIL in particular wants to know every detail about everything (short of perhaps our sex life). The other day we went for a first trimester ultrasound and she knew the appointment time and texted 5 minutes after the scheduled appointment time to ask how it had gone, wanting details. We hadn't even seen the doc yet! That was too much for me. I told DH it was up to him to respond and I wasn't going to deal with it. (And for those who say why did you even tell her, it's because we have had secondary fertility issues and need MIL to babysit our toddler while we see the specialists ... otherwise I would say nothing.) I find her smothering at times. However, I know it comes from a place of love and concern so I always keep that in mind. And the flip side is if I do want to talk about something in detail, or hash out a decision, or even just look at rugs or something, she is always there and willing to participate as much or as little as I need.

I am very lucky. At the same time, it takes work on everyone's part to recognize that we're all in this for the long term and that the little things are not worth getting upset about.[/quote]

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