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[quote=Anonymous]I think you need to draw some hard boundaries OP.  And you also need to make some choices about which battles you're going to fight.

"Mom and Dad, I want to make sure you have great, strong relationships with our kids.  And I want to make sure that the warm, calm nature of our household is maintained.  So when you visit next I am putting off limits all discussions about our lifestyle choices, discussions of what you think we should be doing differently, etc...   We always seem to end up in disagreements so I wanted to let you know that I just won't be participating in those discussions.  Hubby and I ask you to respect how we live, and respect the choices we make for our family.  That includes not starting discussions about what you think we should change.  If you aren't comfortable with that then you can choose not to come visit.  We'll be sorry but will respect your decision."

Then you have to be prepared to end discussions.  "Mom, I told you that I won't be having conversations like this.  Let's talk about that trip you're planning for next year."  etc...   You and your husband will have to be a consistent, united front for as long as it takes for them to believe you.  If they persist then you will have to tell them that they cannot stay with you, and plan to meet them only for scheduled activities on neutral territory.

Then I'd try to let some other stuff go - like the titles thing.  Pick your battles, be calm and clear but steady in your messaging and refusal to engage.

Good luck.[/quote]

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