Reply to DH and I both lost parents recently - feeling like we are in a "grief contest"

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[quote=Anonymous]My MIL died a bit over 6 months ago, very suddenly.  She was young (70) and this was totally unexpected.  DH and his father/sister were devastated, understandably so.  They are a very tight family and I have been doing my best to be supportive but they're grieving and grieving hard.  Lots of phone calls, lots of tears, a lot of need to be together for moments like her birthday, Mother's Day, etc and it's been hard for them (and for me, too, I'll be honest).

So my dad died 2 weeks ago.  Much different - he was 90, frail health, not the quality of life he'd wanted.. overall, more peaceful death, but still a death.  And I am finding myself angry at my in laws for how they handled it.  We grew up in a small town so everyone knows each other, and our parents are/were friendly.  But I had to bend over backwards to accomodate FIL's feelings when it came to the funeral: DH asked that we ensure my Dad wasn't in the same viewing room at the Funeral Home that his mom had been in ("too hard for my Dad to go back in there"), which I did.  Then at the wake, his father had to be walked in, supported on both sides by his daughter and sister in law, crying, etc... all because it was the 6 month anniversay of MIL's passing, NOT because of my Dad.  He got lots of attention, lots of sympathy, etc.  And I find myself irrationally angry over it.  It was my Dad, his wake, and instead it turned into the "FIL Show".

I am so angry but I can't say anything to DH - emotions are just too raw for them still.  But I lost my Dad, too... [/quote]

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