Reply to When to stop helping mom who makes terrible decisions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone. DH suggested putting her money in a trust but she would never go for that. She told me. She HAS asked for my help but then refuses to listen to it. She just wants to live the make believe part of life like everything is fine but won't listen when I tell her she can't afford to live like that.[/quote]
What exactly she asked you to help with?
How old is she?
Does she work? Do you know all details about her financial to make informed decisions about what she can and can't afford?[/quote]

Yes - the question is what she is asking you for. If it's to help her decorate her new place - decide if you want to do that.

If it's writing her a check to pay her bills or a deposit for a new place - then the answer is no.

My aunt and uncle lived the way you describe your mom as living. Finally caught up with them in mid 60s. Was ugly -- they declared bankruptcy, lost almost everything, and ended up moving into a double wide trailer in Florida that some friends of their let them 'rent' for a few hundred a month. Eventually they even stiffed that person.

My cousins, their kids, would send modest gas and grocery gift cards every couple of months. They didn't want them to starve but if they gave them cash - they'd go and blow it at a nice restaurant.

It's tough to watch but you need to draw the line at emotional support only, not financial.
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