Reply to When to stop helping mom who makes terrible decisions

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you just have to tell her outright, "Mom, I just don't have the money to help you."  And keep repeating every time she asks you for money.  She can also ask her other daughter or her ex(es), any siblings, a church, or friends of hers for help.  She has some financial resources she can tap into -- Social Security at 62+, and then there's welfare and food stamps. If her life insurance policy is a whole life policy, she may be able to cash that out, and that may be significant.  The long term care policy should help if she needs nursing care one day.

If and when she can't pay her bills or doesn't have enough money for groceries, she will learn the hard way that she has to make changes.  It will be the reality check she needs. So she may have to visit a food bank -- it's not ideal, but she'll get food, and hopefully it'll motivate her to change.

You can't allow her to take your family down. Good luck and stay strong, OP.  Practice saying "I just don't have the money to help you, Mom" assertively until it rolls off of your tongue naturally.  Then you'll be ready to say it when she asks you for money.

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