Reply to What's going on in the heads of victims of domestic violence?

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Reply to "What's going on in the heads of victims of domestic violence?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It varies for each victim, so there's no one-size-fits-all solution or answer anyone can give you. I can tell you though, that the harder people pushed me on the outside, and wanted to "help," the more I shut them out and put up more walls. I didn't want their help, because acknowledging that meant acknowledging that I was a victim of DV, and I wasn't ready to fully do that. Outside of that relationship, I was a take-no-shit, super strong woman, very accomplished, etc. but within that relationship, he beat me down emotionally, mentally, and physically, to a point that none of my other attributes could help me. And I didn't want help from anyone else.

It wasn't until I found myself running out the house, naked, bleeding from my face, neck, and arms, after an attack, that I wanted help. Luckily the neighbors heard my screams, and 911 was called, but even after that, it took me weeks for some people, months for others, to open up to them. I never opened up to his family or friends though, even the ones who were 1000% on my side, cutting all ties with him and offering me total support. It was just a convo I didn't want to have, ever.

If you want to talk to anyone or work on anyone, talk to your brother, get him away from her, get him help. But start with him, not her. And do not push her for anything, because then she'll feel overwhelmed and everything will weigh down on her even harder. [/quote]

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