Reply to How do I get my husband to take on more responsibility (older kids)?

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[quote=Anonymous]I know this is usually a dilemma for parents with young babies but my kids are in elementary and middle school. My husband and I both have super flexible FT jobs - similar fields, similar pay and stature. I have always been the default parent, esp since our second was born which coincided with a bad time for my husband professionally. Everything kid-related, house-related, family-related falls on me. He wouldn't know where a battery or a light bulb is in our house, and he wouldn't ever stop at the grocery store to pick up milk even when he's working from home and the grocery store is within walking distance. Until now, that's been okay - I always wished it were different, but I've been able to manage.

Except over the past year I have been given additional responsibilities at work, so more face time in the office and way more details to juggle. SO now, the balance at home is not so okay. Right now I have about a 2-page to do list of school supplies, clothes to buy or pack up or give away, activities to get the kids signed up for, doctors appointments that need to be made (at times when a parent can go), birthday presents to buy, etc, etc, etc. I told my husband I need him to take on some portion of this: not just make one call that I assign to him, but basically be the guy who handles their medical stuff or their extracurriculars or whatever. He blows me off, and if I push it, he then gets annoyed that I'm "breaking his balls" and then stomps off. If I try to explain how busy I am, he tells me I'm taking my work too seriously or he downplays what I've got to do at home (one of the standbys is "what's the big deal about laundry? It's not like you're taking the clothes down to the river and washing them by hand.")

I feel totally overwhelmed and basically trapped in this cycle of stress and being frantic about everything. Short of threatening divorce can someone help me figure out what to do?[/quote]

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