Reply to Getting better at not taking the judgment of clinicians and others to heart

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]  I used to get so upset when people seemed to judge me/us. An old ST judged us for not doing her homework 2 weeks in a row without having an inkling of how many things were going on with our family that week and how we were just keeping our heads above water and on the verge of insanity. A well meaning but green special ed teacher recommends an insanely expensive program that has no research backing and then is disappointed when you save your money for other interventions. A parent sees your child misbehave in public and she scoffs not understanding how far your child has come and how much you have done to help her. The list goes on.

It used to punch me in the gut and make me want to scream my side of the story to the world or just bang my head against the wall. Now, things do sometimes still bother me, but I am getting better at realizing they don't get it. I can calmly try to explain, which I do, and when they still look at me with judgment it is their failure not mine. Some people have to live it to get it and other people are just so innately empathetic they would not think of judging. Have met quite a few teachers, clinicians and parents with well-developed empathy and those people give me strength.

I don't need to win the approval of people who haven't taken the time to learn and understand. The most important thing is to do our best to do right by our child and let those people fade into the background.

I guess this came up today because someone got judge with us today (long story) and it stang for a second and then I thought "Bless your heart" (southern for "F you idiot"). Said person didn't know any better. Ignorance abounds. Sometimes it is worth it to at least try to educate and sometimes it isn't worth the effort. Bless their hearts![/quote]

I hear you OP. And for what its worth I don't think you're too thin-skinned and maybe that's because I used to be just like you.

DS is 7 years post-diagnosis (ADHD and Expressive Language) and it took me a long time to let go of the paranoia that people were constantly judging DS and questioning our every move and decision. Questioning his diagnosis, even after 3 comprehensive evaluations.  I am finally at a point, thanks to being "of a certain age" where I truly could not give 2 #ucks what anyone thinks.....about ANYTHING I do in my life.  It is a very liberating feeling.  [/quote]

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