Reply to What would your relationship with your MIL be like if she treated you as an equal and an adult?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married my husband after he had been divorced for many years.  My MIL had her head filled with horror stories from her friends about their relationships with their DILs.  So my MIL worked for years and years to manipulate every situation to her advantage.  And she did a really good job.  There were many years where we did not spend any time with my family for holidays.  It backfired on her in the end though.  I got totally fed up and blew my stack at her over a holiday table.  Ever since then, I make plans to for us to see her for holiday celebrations only.  It is up to my husband to plan to see her any other time and he isn't a planner so her short sightedness really bit her in the ass.  And after many years of marriage, she still is exactly the same.  For Mothers Day, my husband took she and our daughter out for breakfast.  She had presents to open because I had shopped for and wrapped them.  They had a lovely morning.  I took our daughter for a late lunch with my parents.  My MIL found out that I dared to spend time with my own mother on Mothers Day and brought my daughter along and my MIL was pissed.

If she honored our attempts to spend time with my family and her, she would be in a much better position because I would plan for us to spend time with her instead of leaving it up to my husband who plans nothing.  If she respected the fact that I have a mother and a father and siblings that I love and want to spend time with instead of using every bit of strength she has to exclude my family or preclude us from spending time with them, she would get a lot more from me.  [/quote]

You tell this story in every MIL thread. Are you also the poster who constantly tells the story about not allowing MIL in the hospital room for the birth because "I have a list of people who are allowed to see my vagina, and you aren't on the list"?[/quote]

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