Reply to Let's play "who's the jerk?" - or at least sympathize with my situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Check the resolve.org website for a counselor for you and your dh.   I'm sorry for your troubles.  Infertility takes a toll on the strongest of marriages. [/quote]

I don't know how strong the marriage was to start. But he does love me, and he is loyal. He also has a terrible temper, and as I told him yesterday, if we ultimately don't have a child it will be because his tantrums made me decide not to procreate with him. So he should blame himself - and maybe me - but not my sister. [/quote]

Having been raised by a father with a temper I would NEVER raise a child with a husband who has one.  I spent a LOT of years terrified of my father, truly certain he would kill me. As a teen, around 16 or 17 something in me snapped and I promised myself that in order to have respect for myself, the next time he hit me, I was going to fight back. I had a big talk about this with myself and was like "You realize the second you raise your hand to him he's going to KILL you, right? You'll have won the battle but lost the war. Are you SURE you want to do this?" And I said yes.

Something in how I carried myself must have changed because he never hit me again. In all my 20's if any older male raised his voice to me, I got tears in my eyes. I would never put a child through what I went through.[/quote]

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