Reply to parents visiting for more than two weeks and we don't get along

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents are like this, though they at least acknowledge it and mostly keep the visits short. I have a few suggestions, though. Once we moved close enough for them to come more frequently, the visits were starting to go kind of like you describe (familiarity breeds too many old patterns, I guess, and my dad just can't maintain civil behavior for more than a couple of days).

Anyway, I finally told them to act as if they lived down the street, and so would we. We don't change our daily schedule much to accommodate them except for pre-arranged special events, so there's a lot less sitting around staring at each other. They are welcome to join us if we are taking the children somewhere, or they can stay and sit, but we aren't going to stay and sit just because they are, nor are we going to wait around for them to show up and make up their minds. We say, "Grandma and Grandpa, tomorrow DC is going to My Gym at 10. If you want to go, we're leaving at 9:45."

We also do pre-plan a few special activities, like dinners out which my parents enjoy. Sometimes my father is too grumpy to want to do anything on anybody's schedule, and this doesn't entirely work out, but he does seem more willing to admit that he was the problem when something everyone else was looking forward to doesn't happen in that case.

Finally, bedtime is your friend. Don't encourage them to hang around after DC goes to bed. "Tell G&G goodnight and we'll see them tomorrow! Mom and Dad, I need to catch up on some work after DC goes down in the evenings; can we say goodnight now?" This may take some finessing, but get them out of there when DC isn't around to limit the political stuff and provide a topic other than you and your house![/quote]

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