Reply to Is it too much to ask for MIL and In Laws that like you?

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Reply to "Is it too much to ask for MIL and In Laws that like you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I'm half-Asian, half-white, and married someone from a different culture. I have never had much in common with my husband's family, yet they all like me, I can tell. We don't live in the same country, we don't have the same religion, yet my MIL has been nothing but supportive.

My advice is to be unfailingly kind and to be a wonderful listener. Your IL's are not obligated to love you, you need to earn it! In a few years, your relationship might evolve for the better. Play the long game, OP. Don't be a spoiled princess.
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Disagree.  You MIL has more experience, MIL is supposed to be "wiser", OP.  She should lead the family in being warm and welcoming - and there are more of them than you!  For you to win everyone over, or even most or a few of them, takes a LOT of work.  While I agree with some work on your part, it should not be mission impossible, which it seems like your IL's are making it.  Racism or not, they should be nice to you.  Heck, even young children know 'you don't have to LIKE them, but you do have to be nice." It's really not asking a lot, and it's really not that hard.  Your MIL should know better![/quote]

MILs should know better but i really screwed up b/c i kept on wanting that and not always being the mature adult- i was pretty cold and distant. MILs are notoriously childish and immature and not wise at all.  My MIL is Asian and my husband is her oldest son- she is really over attached (one of those  women who thinks that a wife is the 'other' woman' in her son's life types). I wish I had played the long game and always been the wise and mature adult instead of just cutting her out b/c while i'm never going to be friends with this woman- she is borderline crazy and i don't respect her values as the person she has  chosen to be but I know that while DH is totally on my side- he'd be a lot happier if I had always been mature and ignored her crazy drama instead of fighting fire with fire which i admit i did. Also he thinks she's crazy but she is still his mom and even if something is true- you don't need to say it. In someways she has destroyed our relationship b/c its one thing that when i vent about it he doesn't want to hear it b/c its his mom and i cannot be married to someone who after 10 years sighs and says "it is what it is".
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