Reply to Divorce and Seperation

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[quote=Anonymous]All this talk of divorce and separation on this thread is down right depressing to see all these families break up.

Now I know I'm going to get lambasted for putting these thoughts down, but oh well. Doesn't anyone believe in working on their marriage anymore?  Now don't get me wrong, if you are in a dangerous situation by all means get out of it. But that doesn't seem to be the case on the vast majority of these threads.  I see wives who are just bored, frustrated, angry, think the "grass is greener", lost romance, whatever, who are ready to give up on 10-20 years of marriage without trying to save it. This is especially sad when children come into play and the potential damage a divorce will do to them.  We didn't see this with our parent's generation.  Sure they had difficult times too, but they fought to make their marriage work.  I read a statistic some while ago that said most marriages that end in divorce could have been saved if the couple learned how to communicate better. That most fights in marriage were over money and children, these are the things you should be talking about most!

Yes I see people talk about how happy they are now that they are acting like they are 20 again. But how long does that last? Are your kids and ex just as happy as you? Part of being a parent is that you must sacrifice a bit of your happiness for theirs.

I'm sorry, but when you marry someone, love isn't lost; it is just forgotten, but can be found again. I should know. I was ready to leave my husband of 15+ years at one point. We weren't talking at all except to fight, in fact whenever I would come into a the room he would make it a point to leave. we said mean, nasty things to each other all the time. There were times form our past that we just couldn't let go. I was sure my marriage was over. I was even looking at online dating sites for someone to take me away (never met anyone though) I even spoke with a divorce attorney at one point (big mistake - she wanted me to cut and run then) I was lucky though. One day I was so depressed I sought out a friend for help. She suggested that we not give up, she gave me hope. I reluctantly got my husband to go to therapy with me (by threatening o run away with the kids). Today we are happier than when we were newlyweds. He romances me in ways he never did before.  :D  We talk, the affection is back.  My marriage has never felt so comforting, so right. It has been over three years since we sought out help. Out marriage is as strong as ever.

So, I guess, my long story is basically a plea to all of you DCUMers out there to not give up so easily.  A good marriage is worth the fight for it. Seek some professional help before it is too late (nothing shameful in that). Don't give up, because things can be wonderful.

Sorry for the rant...[/quote]

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