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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clearly your sister has an underlying issue and your DN is learning bad habits from her mom.  I think it is perfectly okay to gently bring it to attention.  Remind her that she has gotten a lot older and her body has changed so her need for personal hygiene is really important.  Maybe remind her that she could ruin all her nice clothes by not washing them regularly and then teach her how to do it.  She probably doesn't know how.  Maybe she feel she needs permission to do it if it has been "mom's job."  There is an root problem here.  Does your sister work?  Does she get regular medical care?  Clearly other people notice an issue - and likely dance around it too because it is awkward.  But someone has to step up.

You also need to speak with your sister about the effect on your niece.  Acknowledge that it is awkward but you need to be blunt.  Remind her that DN is at an age where negative hygiene can be a huge social stigma.  I'm sure the kid doesn't ever have friends over.  [/quote]

You are right on the money PP. She is the only child though they live in the same house with two of my late sister's kids. My DN still shares a room and a bed with her mom ... Something I find odd. Her mother "does" her laundry... So you are right she doesn't know how to do it. DN has not had any friends over for a long time.

DN is always asking me to buy her clothes... I wonder if buying her mostly white stuff then use that as an opportunity to teach her how to prevent stains and discoloration would help?

My sister used to work for a big international organization many years ago and her colleagues used to "gift her" towels and nice smelling perfumes... I was too young to understand but looking back I think they were trying to hint. She is now self employed - does mostly consultant jobs and she also has her own charity. [/quote]

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