Reply to An update on my relationship with Niece, Bro and SIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,
  [/quote]

Huh? I'm not offering to take time off work for childcare?  I am not sure where you got that from. And yes, the feed the baby every night comment was a joke, and my brother knew that. [/quote]

"I suggested I could take a day off from work and haul them around the city so they're out of the nanny's hair. I think SIL was very appreciative of that. "

Ok, I guess it's more like 'parent-care.'  But either way, as PP stated, if it's something you are really doing for yourself (i.e. I'm so excited to show my parents around the city that I'm happy to use my vacation time to do it) then that's cool, but if it's something you are doing just to make your SIL's nanny's life easier in hopes of getting into SIL's good graces, you will likely end up disappointed and let down.  Remember, you could be saving those vacation days for a trip to Prague or Miami !!!  [/quote]

Oh. They know full well that I can't stand my parents and we don't have fun together. But it will make my parents feel good. I don't take trips. I haven't been on an airplane in six or seven years. I didn't offer in order to kiss up to the SIL or get into her good graces. I did it because I've watched my parents make people feel awkward and I know it's important that the nanny be comfortable (she and the baby love each other). I'll just take my parents to breakfast and a movie and stuff to keep them out of the nanny's hair. [/quote]

OK then, i'm sorry, your hard-earned vacation day is more important than the comfort level of your brother's nanny.  the whole situation has nothing to do with you.  you are too invested in other people's lives, and not enough invested in your own.  if you dislike flying/travel, then use your vacation time to take classes, volunteer, or visit museums-whatever makes you happy.  if you don't know what makes you happy, try out different things every week.  search for ways to make your life one that you love, without depending on anyone else to try and make that happen.  your brother and his wife have their own lives: busy jobs, baby, etc.  you will only be disappointed if you place so much hope in them to give your life joy.

for example, be prepared for one way your plan might play out: 
-you take your parents out, they drive you crazy, you are miserable and can't believe you are spending vacation time this way, but think, well, at least i'm doing BIL/SIL a BIG favor.  
-you complain to your BIL/SIL about how awful it was to put up with the parents, and expect your BIL/SIL to be really grateful and sympathetic, but instead they say, 'well, why did you agree to take them out then?'  
-you respond: 'i did it for you guys, so your nanny would not feel awkward.'
-they say 'umm...the nanny gets paid to handle our baby, not be comfy.  if you didn't want to take vacation to take the parents out, then you shouldn't have done it.'  
-you are back to square one feeling that your SIL/BIL dismiss and under-appreciate all your efforts.
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