Reply to An update on my relationship with Niece, Bro and SIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,

I mean this with all possible kindness.

Don't be a pushover and a doormat. If it makes you happy, by all means, be the go-to person when they need a babysitter. But there are limits.

[/quote]

+1
i'm particularly troubled that you seem to be desperately looking to this relationship to fill a void in your life based on this comment:

"I am hesitant to cut them out of my life, because quite simply, my life is very empty right now. I have been feeling quite lonely the last year or so, and I'm already SO VERY isolated. But maybe it's better to have even fewer than to have people who are like them."

Its great that you took the high road, and it worked out, but you seem to be looking to escape your life and trying to turn yourself into a nanny to make yourself feel needed and valuable.  You should not be offering to feed your niece every night, hopefully that was a joke.  and volunteering to take time off work for non-emergency childcare help is pushing it in terms of healthy boundaries and looking after yourself.  You need to be out and about, dating or going to comedy shows or art exhibits or whatever to help find what will fill the void in your life.  There's also many meet-up groups which are a great way to meet new people.  you can't build your life around someone else's family, even if it is your brother and beloved niece.

I also think you should meet with a therapist to work on having healthy boundaries and hopefully get to the root of why you aren't aiming higher and seeking out meaningful relationships that come with no strings attached.

best of luck.  [/quote]

Huh? I'm not offering to take time off work for childcare?  I am not sure where you got that from. And yes, the feed the baby every night comment was a joke, and my brother knew that. [/quote]

"I suggested I could take a day off from work and haul them around the city so they're out of the nanny's hair. I think SIL was very appreciative of that. "

Ok, I guess it's more like 'parent-care.'  But either way, as PP stated, if it's something you are really doing for yourself (i.e. I'm so excited to show my parents around the city that I'm happy to use my vacation time to do it) then that's cool, but if it's something you are doing just to make your SIL's nanny's life easier in hopes of getting into SIL's good graces, you will likely end up disappointed and let down.  Remember, you could be saving those vacation days for a trip to Prague or Miami !!!  [/quote]

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