Reply to Did you divorce due to spouse's travel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]His travel schedule was definitely part of why we split up.

He CHOSE to travel. It wasn't essential for his job that he be on the road 1-2 weeks a month, every month. There were conferences that he needed to go to, but it got to the point where he was basically gone half the time, by choice. We talked about it a lot, and he would always say that it wouldn't be forever, that he really wanted to be home with me and DD, etc. etc. But after 5 years (3 without DD and 2 with her), you kind of stop believing that it'll ever end, particularly when it's non-essential travel.

It was less about him being gone (because I agree with PP that some things were easier when he wasn't around) so much as the disregard he had for his family by choosing to leave us to "network" with his friends at conferences 1-2x a month.[/quote]

I think this is key. It's a choice and the question is how long is he making the choice for. If it's a determined period of time to advance and to have more options (a year, two whatever) then that's discussed as a family and you deal with it. If it's because he thinks he can do whatever and your family life is second then that's a problem. 
My DH is a reservist so I've dealt with one weekend a month and two weeks a year him gone and some late nights. Now he's deploying for a year. But we talked it out and determined it's temporary and necessary for his career. When he is here is is absolutely present and limits late nights to necessity only and he calls and talks and tells us he misses and loves us. I look at his face and it's clear it's not easy for him to be away either. In our case it's temporary and worth it. He will not take a job with a lot of travel since he knows the impact on us and it's not worth it. [/quote]

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