Reply to Third trimester and can't stop fighting with DH about money

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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry, OP, hugs to you during this stressful time.  It looks like this issue is more of a cash flow timing problem, not actual budget problem, correct?  If the payments went out correctly, you wouldn't be short on cash?

Assuming so, I think you're right that you need to sit down and change your automatic payments so that you don't run out of money before the end of the month.  Do you not have any emergency fund?  If not, an emergency would have to go on a credit card which is a higher rate than your student loan, correct?  Even if he's taken responsibility for managing finances right now, and earns more than you, your joint finances are still a joint responsibility that you have a say in also.

I think he's right that you are probably coming across as critical and emotional instead of constructive.  I have this exact same problem when I get overwhelmed.  My very reasonable points get overwhelmed by crying, yelling, emotions.  Let alone when you're in your third trimester!  That's a crazy time no matter what!  What I do is try to recognize when I've gotten too upset to communicate effectively, and drop the subject until a later time.  Again, I think you are definitely right about the finances, but your message is getting lost.  And it's exhausting to get so upset all of the time!

I say, "I'm upset about this but am getting too worked up to talk to you right now.  I want to talk about this later, but need your help keeping calm.  Can we please talk later?"  Not sure if being that direct would work in your house, but sometimes I need to hit my DH over the head with what I need from him.  :-)

Good luck![/quote]

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