Reply to Third trimester and can't stop fighting with DH about money

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Third trimester and can't stop fighting with DH about money"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I'm looking for some advice and support about the current situation that is going on between DH and myself. I am currently heavily pregnant with our third baby. Our other two children are under the age of 5 so we have a pretty busy house. I work part time (5-10 hours a week) and DH has a good job in the medical field. He currently manages all of our finances because he says he finds it enjoyable and a personal interest of his. However, for the past three months in our a row our checking/savings account has been COMPLETELY wiped out by the timing of our mortgage payments and credit card bills (we pay off our credit card each month).  The first month, our mortgage was deducted twice due to an error he made with scheduling automatic payments, and these payments apparently continue to surprise him each month.

Every time this happens, I have a ton of anxiety about not having any cash available in case of an emergency. Its so severe that I need to cancel any babysitters or cash only appointments that I have made for us until the next payday. We are aggressively paying off my student loan debt and I am begging him to take some of that money and put it in an emergency fund so that this problem can stop happening. He replies that it is more important to pay off debt and he wishes that I were on the same page with him about our finances right now. (i.e., agreeing with him that paying off student loan debt as the priority). Last night I started crying while he were talking about it, and he totally ignored me and said that I should stop criticizing him about role in our finances (I am suggesting/insisting we see a financial planner together to get things straightened out).

I am so overwhelmed and upset by his behavior, and I don't know what to do.  I don't want to share these intimate details of our finances with friends or family members. He is generally a good person, and his motivations are good (saving for retirement, paying off debt, saving for kids college), but he does not listen to my concerns about our finances. He does not overspend or even spend much on himself. Please help me! I am so pregnant, have severely limited my career and earning potential for the time being to raise our family, and now I feel so trapped. I can't stop crying about it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics