Reply to Affair trigger that can't be avoided

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP.  There are a lot of things that remind me of my husband's affair.  When he has to work late (does he really?  he claimed to be working late during the affair...), when I drive by Chipotle (apparently, that was a place they met, talk about classy, and I actually liked Chipotle), when certain memorable dates go by, etc.  The world isn't going to change.  Chipotle is still there despite the food scare earlier this year :)  My husband has a job that in fact does require a lot of hours.  The reminders fade, but I'm about a year out.  I find that I am just now getting really angry about what he did.  Strangely, it bugs me a lot that he has gained a bunch of weight back.  He was in tip top shape during the affair but before and after he was/is quite pudgy and lackadaisical about his hygiene.  I guess I'm not worth the effort.  It really pisses me off!

I think the champagne thing will fade with time.  I often wonder if these "triggers" would disappear if I got a divorce, but I doubt it.  So I think leaving wouldn't fix anything about that specific problem.  I have to say, my husband apparently doesn't think about his affair that often anymore (according to him) but it occurs to me daily still.  I have no clue if our marriage will make it, but I'm trying my hardest because I have small children and want to make sure that if we get a divorce, I tried everything I could.[/quote]

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