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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like my relationship is floundering constantly. We fight every night almost and have spent the last 24 hours speaking only the bare minimum to one another like to prison inmates circling each other before a shanking.

I have cried no less than 8 times today. I don't know what is going on. He says I am micromanaging him, I say he is an asshole when he has less than 6 hours of sleep and takes everything I say automatically out of of context.

At the core, I feel done. I don't want to fight with him. But fuck him also. I am healing from giving birth, I'm sore, I'm tired, my body, time and mind have been taken over by feeding timebschdules. I want to scream and lose it on him but am just losing it.

Normal? Not for us. I'm at the end of my rope here. Tell me everyone else is fighting with their spouse. Tell me I'm not the only one. Tell me it is normal. I need to hear good news at the end of this planned pregnancy, this is what we wanted, [b]you stayed up all night and played video games before the baby came so why are you sleepy now, asshole tunnel. [/b][/quote]

I had to laugh at this because I remember telling my DH "you think nothing of staying out and drinking until 2 A.M., and now you're suddenly 'exhausted?'" (never mind that I too was usually partying right there with him, pre-baby. How quickly we forget).

I remember bawling and saying "our lives were perfect and we ruined them."

It's easier to get up early and stay up late for something pleasant and fun -- not so much to deal with a crying kid, a crying kid you're still trying to know and understand.

What's happening to you both is normal, and it will get better. If nothing else, be kind. Sometimes I wanted to say something nasty and I just bit my tongue. Am I saying something because it will truly change a behavior, or am I saying it just because it makes me feel superior and "right?"

If you don't feel like you're on the track to normalcy soon, talk to your PCP or OB about a short-term solution, like an anti-anxiety med or SSRI. You could be suffering from PPD. I did and when I finally got help I could see the light, and learn how to work with my DH, rather than against him.

Get a night nurse a couple nights a week if you can afford it. I had a great experience with Let Mommy Sleep.

Use Instacart to get groceries. Don't order stuff that's a pain to make. Pasta with sauce from a jar. Brown some ground turkey or beef for tacos. WF has plenty of not-scary frozen foods, so you can just turn on the oven and not think for a second.

Hire a cleaning service. If you can't afford bi-weekly, just have them come in once and do a deep clean. Something about it is therapeutic.

Ask a friend for help. You'd be surprised how often "let me know if I can do anything for you" is NOT just a shallow expression. I know when I say it, I mean it.

I'm rambling, but it's because I was you 18 months ago. Trust me, you and your DH got this. Before you know it, you guys will be able to enjoy that baby you planned for and wanted so badly! I swear.
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