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[quote=Anonymous]OP, a couple thoughts:

This could be their "normal", i.e., they bicker all the time and it wasn't them acting badly, this is them. They may not even be aware of it, it could just be their baseline if you will.

If you and your husband don't act like this, it would be a shocker, yes, for your son, which is a good thing.

I think you should deal with your son, talk about why it bothered him, how you feel badly that this is how your dad and wife communicate, why we don't talk like this, how we don't hurt people with our words, etc.

The only way I would bring this up with your dad is if your son doesn't want to go back. Then if the invite is extended, you say that your son was upset at all the bickering and doesn't want to go back. And see how he responds.

If this is their normal, he'll say he has no idea, make excuses, blame your son for being sensitive, whatever.

If this was a one off, he will be mortified and profusely apologize.

My advice would be different if you were close, then you could talk to him, but if you are already strained and not close, and these visits aren't usually happening, then I wouldn't bother.
My guess is that this is how they are and a conversation would be futile.

Spend your energy using this as a learning experience and life lesson kind of thing for your son.

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