Reply to How to help a clingy kid?

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Reply to "How to help a clingy kid?"

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[quote=girljoe]I think its good news that your son only demonstrates the clingy behavior with you and when he’s away from you he demonstrates that he has developed life skills.  Good job, mom!  You’ve taught him how to manage his own behavior! The tough part is that you don’t get to enjoy it when you’re together.  Argh! One of the crosses mom’s bear is that our children behave better for other people than they do for us!

Based on the things you have said, I think your son might be extremely bonded to you and just hasn’t learned to be independent when you are around.  Kind of like a separation issue.  If this is the case he needs to learn to manage his behavior when you ARE around.  Activities where he is forced to be independent while knowing you are present in the background may help.  He needs to be confidant you are always there for him if he really needs you, but he also needs to be confident in his ability to not need you.

The field trip might be a great opportunity.  Talk to the teacher about your situation and see if you can go, but be responsible for children other than your son.  Usually chaperones are assigned a small group of children.  Have your son assigned to another mom.  You will still be there, but he will not be allowed to cling to you.  This will be difficult for him initially and he may fight it, but be strong and consistent.  With practice he can learn to be bonded to you, but independent from you.

Let us know what you decide and how it’s going.
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