Reply to Why are some parents not close/ connected to their children ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother had me because that's what you did after you got married. I've now not spoken to her for almost half my life. I recently read a book where the epilogue said of two characters "Their baby was born, but parenting wasn't for them so the nannies did it, and they visited their child in the nursery once a day, if they weren't traveling." And it reminded me of my mother.

Right now my oldest is only 4, but I can't really envision being close with her when she's an adult. My husband is close with his parents so hopefully he'll lead the way. [/quote]

That's strange to me that you can't envision being close when she's older? This is op. I wonder why that is? [/quote]

Because she isn't close to her own parents? Not a stretch.[/quote]

Op here: I'm surirised because I don't feel the same way. [/quote]

OP I'm not the PP but my understanding is she can't envision it because she has no point of reference for what a healthy relationship would be. From her post she seems to want to be close to her child. Hence the comment that maybe her husband will be able to help with that in the future.

I can relate because my parents were very neglectful when I was growing up. It's not enough just to say that I won't do the things that they did. What does good parenting look like? I have zero point of reference. My DH grew up in a stable home with loving parents so it's nice to have his perspective when I feel completely lost.[/quote]

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