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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Fiance oblivious to his son's issues"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My fiance has a son from his previous relationship. His son is 11 and has clear social/awkward/behavior issues. He has not been diagnosed with anything, I think it's just the way he's been raised. He has lived primarily with his mother for the past 4 years. EVERYONE sees it. Including my fiance's entire extended family. But he appears to be the only person completely unaware of how socially awkward and inappropriate he is. I've tried to gently explain that he is going to have a difficult time in middle school next year, not wanting to offend him as I know how defensive people get about their kids. But his response was basically kids will be kids, maybe if a few kids are mean to him, he won't be so "quirky" about things. There is a difference between kids being mean to each other occasionally, but still having a group of friends, and your child being the one kid ostracized and ALL the other kids avoid, because your child is flat out weird. He already talks about how he has no friends, except for the ones on the internet he meets playing his online games. For instance, he just sits there and makes random loud noises, for no reason, while everyone around him is in the middle of a conversation. Everyone stares at him, and then stares at my fiance for him to do something about it, but my fiance just gives a look like "oh, there goes my quirky kid again!" and doesn't address it. He says inappropriate things about someone having scars, or being overweight, to them. He attempts to correct adults behavior and tells them they are doing something he doesn't like, that he has no business saying anything about. He tells private family stories in public forums. He's taken a toy, and walked around the room and hit people (including adults) in the head with it. He closed to door to a dark basement on two little kids because they annoyed him. All this around my fiance, and he doesn't do or say anything, because if you asked my fiance, his son is the nicest, most well-behaved kid you'll ever meet. How can I make him address these issues with him getting offended about it. [/quote] Share everything you just posted and see what he says. How he response is very important and telling of things to come for your future marriage. If he is still not acknowledging the problem, it's time to pull the, let's -hold-off-on-the-marriage card. Please ignore the people that say you don't like his kid. It's not you it's him. He may be having a hard time accepting reality. These are people that ignore major issues, ignore the underlining behavioral problems and expect the world to accommodate their needs rather than be an adult and take control of the real problem. [/quote]
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