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[quote=Anonymous]My ex-BF and I broke up recently. We were together for 8 (mostly) miserable years.  Before anyone says it...I know. I stayed too long. I will never be in that situation again.  I'm a really nice person. I look for ways to make people happy and like to be helpful. I'm very living and kind.
I also suffer from depression and anxiety and can have bursts of anger occasionally.  Please be nice.

*I work full-time and work several side jobs to support myself. He makes about 3x more than I do.  When we moved in, he told me he wanted to make my life better and would pay for most of our living expenses.  I paid about 40% of our living expenses. He then started telling me that I use him, that I don't pull my weight. I got very self-conscious about contributing enough and would obsessively look for ways to "earn my keep."  I cleaned, cooked and did all the shopping. He still called me a user.

*We have 3 dogs, 1 of which was mine before we met.  I had her for over 13 years before I let him.  I woke up every morning and let them out/fed them.
Most nights (after work) I came home and did the same.  I do a lot of freelance work and have to go directly from my first job to my second job. I do this 2-3 nights per week. He worked from home for most of the time we lived together.  He was always telling me that I can't take care of the animals, that I don't contribute enough time to their care.  I did my very best.  I work so much (at least 60 hours per week) that I did as much as I possibly could for them.
When I decided to get my own place, I couldn't find a place that I could afford where I could take the dogs. My father offered to take my dog for me and my EX took the others. He keeps telling me that I can't even care for my dogs, that I rely on everyone else to clean up my messes.

*He tells me that I don't know how good I had t with him and that I'll have a hard time finding someone who will be good to me.

*He has always run hot and cold with me.  He's either very sweet and loving or he is shutting me out completely, making me wonder what I've done.
He told me that he needs "a partner, not a child."  I fully admit that until about a year ago (when I started seeing a counselor), I let him make a lot of decisions for me.  I was so afraid of making the wrong choice.  I don't do that anymore. I make my own decisions and work hard to understand all the positives and negatives.  His hot and cold attitude made me feel like a child who had done something bad.

*He has told me that I am going to get a "wake-up call" when I don't have him to rely on anymore.

*He says that I use sex as a weapon.  I really don't.  Years of dealing with his crap made me feel anything but sexual toward him.  There were times when it repulsed me to have him touch me.  When he was wonderful and treated me with kindness, we had regular sex.  When he was cruel and cold to me, we didn't.

*He says things about me that I know in my gut aren't true, but he insists they are.  He makes me question whether I really am a terrible user who plays mind games.  The things he says are things I would say to describe him, not myself.

*He refused to discuss problems and would roll his eyes and shut down when I did.

*He would frequently tell me to to "Fuck off," "Go fuck yourself," and to "get the fuck away from me."

*When my mom died, on the way to drop me off at the airport for her funeral-he made fun of me for crying and proceeded to scream at me for "making it all about me."[/quote]

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