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[quote=Anonymous]Totally with you OP, 100%. My DH does stuff like this. We have been together 10 years, married 5, have 2 young children. I love him and he is a great husband and father in many ways. His loyalty and devotion to family is unparalleled. But, he's lazy and self-centered. I get it because I am too from time to time (except for all the time I'm being the default parent, just like you).

Honestly, the thing I do with mine is call him on his bullshit. I know him well enough to know when it's "quality time with the kids" vs. "trying to find that place sounded hard" and I come right out and say so. I would start doing that and then expand to other stuff. Make a list of all the stuff you do regularly that is uncompensated and then talk to him about an even split (taking into consideration the respective demands of your jobs and other responsibilities). Keep talking. There's a contingent on this board that will advocate taking responsibility for what you want done. That's totally right, to a point. But he can't free-ride his family obligations, and you can state that in a matter of fact way and have a discussion about it. Probably an ongoing discussion. We're still working on it in our family.

And I will add that I completely get your irrational fury. Been there! It's because you have a bunch of resentment built up. Work on that, and you may find it easier to laugh it off next time. [/quote]

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