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[quote=Anonymous]Oh OP, three weeks in with a preschooler and a newborn is SO HARD (I say this with love, I was there myself 1 year ago).
-can you hold the baby while doing some stuff with ODD, like reading or coloring or letting her play playdo (or whatever she likes that's not running around)?  That's plenty stimulation for the baby for long periods of the day, and at three weeks she's probably asleep most of that time anyway (hopefully, anyway!)
-can you bill some of the activities as super-fun stuff that babies can't do, it's only for big girls, etc?  I think this helped our ODD with minimizing some jealousy... yes, baby is with mommy, baby takes a lot of mommy's time right now, but look at the cool stuff you get to do with Whoever, that the baby can't do.
-Ease up on ODD a little bit, just a very little bit.  Not saying that you ARE being hard on her, but being 4 is pretty tough and being 4 with a new baby is really tough.  ODD got a lot of ice cream, lots more TV than typical, lots of little treats like new books and special pancake breakfasts with dad, and note that all those things in some way made life easier on mom, dad, and/or new baby at the same time.
-would it help, at all?, if you and baby were the ones to leave the house (to sit at starbucks or walk around the mall or something)?  Or if all 4 of you left, let's say to go to the mall, and you and YDD browse clothes (BORING) while nanny and ODD go to the play area
three weeks is really tough!  and there IS probably going to be another couple months of tough... I feel like once the baby got past that 6-8 week super fussy stage, things really settled down and we got into a routine of sorts, all of us.[/quote]

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