Reply to adopting from foster care

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[quote=Anonymous]It is important to know that the vast majority of children under age 5 who are available for adoption are part of a larger sibling set, have very serious medical issues, or are subject to the Indian Child Welfare Act. If these do not appeal to you, you really have a few options:

a) wait a few years until your child is older and you can keep birth order while adopting a slightly older child. Barker and Adoptions Together have special programs in the DC area for this.

b) do foster care of a young child. But you need to be able to support the goal, which is nearly always reunification with the birth parents or biological relatives. If you go into it in hopes that reunification will fail and you will get the baby, it will break your heart and be rotten for the child. In DC, there is an option to only foster children who are likely to be freed for adoption, but there is still plenty of risk and you will probably wait a year or two to be matched with a child.

c) investigate international adoption, which comes with its own pros and cons.

As for how to balance the needs of your first child and one you might adopt, this is something everyone with multiple children must address--with the added ripple that parenting kids from traumatic backgrounds may require a different parenting style and a lot of appointments. The book "maybe days" might be useful for you to look through to get some language that would work for talking with your son.[/quote]

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