Reply to Losing a parent after strained relationship

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[quote=Anonymous]I just lost my father last month.  He sexually abused me as a child and thus we never had a good relationship.  In my twenties, I cut him out of my life completely.  After I had a child in my late 30s, I visited with him briefly for a few hours every 3 years or so.  I am now in my early fifties and had reached some peace about him.  I did not like him and did not wish to have him in my life, but I was also no longer angry with him and could acknowledge that other facets of his personality existed, not all bad.  When he died, the grief I felt was minimal and mostly reflected my sadness that we never had a relationship worth grieving.  I was sorry that he died just as I would be sorry to hear the same news about a neighbor.  The question you ask is one I wondered about too.  I worried that I might regret not having tried harder to forgive and establish a loving relationship as he wanted.  Now that he is gone, I do not feel regret or guilt.  Too many years of distance for that.  Good luck to you ... every relationship had its own complications.[/quote]

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